Melanie Masters, LMFTCounseling & Psychotherapy

Commencement

5/22/2015

Commencement: An Ending or a New Beginning

As we approach the upcoming graduation ceremonies that our children look forward to so joyfully, many of us do so with pride, but also with a sense of apprehension. What will happen next? How will they do on their own? Are they ready for the next step?

For those making their way to college or from college to career, they may feel ready and eager to have a sense of independence and opportunity to do things their own way. And yet, they too may be worried or afraid.

This is a natural process. The transition from leaving the comfort and care of our families and the reality of becoming independent is an exciting, yet potentially challenging time. There are ways of easing this transition.

As a graduating student:

1.            Gather information. What is coming next? Will it be to continue school, get a job,
            take a break?

2.            What are they prepared for? Do they need more training? To learn to manage
               money? Life skills, such as self-care (laundry, cooking, shopping), time                                management?

3.            Would an internship be important to gather experience?

4.            Are basic skills needed to be ready for college courses?

5.            Are the finances available to proceed, on the chosen course?

As a parent

1.            Are you ready to let go? If not, who can you talk to or how can you come to terms
              with this?

2.            Have you discussed with your child what your role be, as they become an adult?

3.            Do they want/need your help? Have you asked?

4.            Are you and your child in agreement, as to what should come next, or do they want
        something different than you want for them? How do you feel about that?

5.            Are you facing an empty nest? Are you ready?

Life transitions can be scary, exciting, enlightening, challenging, or all of the above, but one thing is usually certain, they happen, whether we are ready or not. You don’t have to handle them alone. Find support from other parents, friends, family, school counselors, and therapists. Talk to your child, reach out to your community, ask for help if you need it. Embrace the moment. They only grow up once.

Melanie Masters M.A., LMFT is a disability specialist at Moorpark College and a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Westlake Village, CA.

5655 Lindero Canyon Road, Suite 225, Westlake Village, CA 91362 805 364-4357

Testing Accommodations for Therapists

4/23/2015

As therapists we strive to help our clients understand their strengths and weaknesses and to develop skills which will help them overcome obstacles or hurdles in their current life situations. As many of us approach taking our licensing exams, we are coming up against our own limitations in regards to the process of taking timed tests. For some it is the nature of the test, the test environment, the time limitations, access to the test (computer vs hard copy), sitting for long periods of time, or needing to nourish ourselves (either to manage anxiety or with food or movement).

Given that we strive to encourage self-care, we should look to see what elements of self-care come under the auspices of a “disability”.

The BBS defines a disability as:

“A disability is defined as a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more of the major life activities of an individual or a record of such an impairment or having been regarded as having such an impairment."Major life activities" include walking, seeing, hearing, speaking, breathing, learning, working, caring for one's self and performing manual tasks. Mental impairment includes any mental or psychological disorder such as organic brain syndrome, emotional or mental illness and specific learning disabilities.” BBS Request for Accommodation Policies.

In essence, by law they must provide “equal opportunity” or to “level the playing field” so that those applicants taking the tests can display their knowledge without being limited by physical or mental limitations that can be documented as a disability.

As we consider the degree to which we might need accommodations, we need to consider if in fact our self-care is to manage what might be considered a “functional” life limitation. The following would be considered disabling conditions:

“Must limit one or more major life activity (create a functional limitation) ie: walking, seeing, hearing, speaking, breathing, learning, working, caring for self, performing manual tasks. Mental impairment includes mental or psychological disorder such as organic brain syndrome, emotional or mental illness and specific learning disabilities.”

Important information to be aware of when requesting accommodations:

·         Your request must be submitted at least 90 days before the exam and approved by the BBS before the testing site will make accommodations.

·         Request must be “reasonable” (not too costly, too extensive, substantial, disruptive)

·         Must verify an ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act, Title II) recognized disability (mental, physical, or learning)

Ex: “test anxiety” is not considered a disability, but generalized anxiety disorder is.

·         Must identify when it was first diagnosed

·         If corrected by medical intervention, then may not be accommodated (ex: wearing glasses, now sees ok, takes meds that ameliorate symptoms), then no need for accommodations

·         Must include a description of accommodation requested

·         May consider a history of accommodations

·         Request cannot fundamentally alter the measurement of knowledge or skills

Some common accommodations to consider requesting might be

·         To have additional time to take breaks to eat/use the bathroom due to blood sugar, urinary problems, back or other physical ailments, etc

·         To have additional time to manage ADHD, GAD, by using calming strategies

·         To have additional time to rest your eyes from computer usage if you have vision problems, or to take the test on paper (will not be scored the same day though)

·         To use ear plugs or have a private room to manage distractibility due to ADHD or anxiety

·         To use a screen reader to “listen” to the test due to reading, learning or vision issues

Consider what you might say or help your clients understand about themselves if they were in this situation and allow yourself to take care of your own needs to ensure your own success. All information is completely confidential and does not reflect on your ability to be the fabulous therapist that you are.

Learning Disabilities/ADHD Not Just a Problem of Academics

3/13/2015

Do you have someone in your life that seems to struggle more than others just to get by? Someone for whom not only has school always been a challenge, but who always seems a step or two behind the rest, doesn’t quite get the joke, doesn’t fit into the crowd?

That person may have a learning disability or attention deficit disorder. What you may not realize however, is that these challenges not only effect learning, but often have a profound effect on self-esteem, socialization, and overall success in life. While most individuals with learning disabilities have average or even superior intelligence, this is often overshadowed by the emotional difficulties that may accompany the fact that they learn and process information differently than the average person.

The top 5 emotional difficulties that are often experienced by individuals with learning difficulties as identified on the website LD Pride (ldpride.net) are:

1.       Shame: Often individuals that have difficulty with learning experience shame that they cannot learn as efficiently as their classmates or co-workers. They are often seen as unmotivated, lazy, or defiant. They may not understand that they have a different style of learning or may need to learn in a different manner. They often feel ashamed or deny there is a problem. They may deflect these feelings with sarcasm, humor, or avoidance.

2.       Fear: Individuals with learning differences often live with the fear of being “found out”, fear of failure, fear of judgment (ridicule), or rejection.   These fears may show up as anger or anxiety. Individuals may lash out in anger, quit a job or activity before they have a chance to fail, or pretend to do something when they haven’t. They may appear shy or withdrawn, because they don’t understand a situation and don’t want to appear stupid.

3.       Environmental and Emotional Sensitivity: Overstimulation by environmental noise or activity is often a challenge for individuals with learning differences, as may be sensitivity to particular foods, fabrics, or too much auditory or visual stimulation. These sensitivities may make it hard for them to fully participate in social events such as parties or family gatherings. They may also be more emotionally sensitive and over respond to things that are seen or experienced.

4.       Emotional Regulation: Along with emotional sensitivity may come difficulty regulating emotions. These individuals my often switch frequently from one extreme to another, with little warning. They may be prone to impulsivity and have difficulty controlling their reactions to situations. They may become depressed, anxious, or angry especially if they feel misunderstood or ridiculed.

5.       Difficulty Adjusting to Change: Individuals with learning difficulties are often experienced as inflexible due to their difficulty adjusting to change. It may be hard for them to change gears once they have figured out a system that works for them. Changing the task, may involve coming up with a new strategy, something that might present further anxiety and challenge.

If you have a friend or family member that is experiencing some of these challenges they may have a learning disability or attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder. If they have not yet been tested or identified (even if they are an adult), it may prove a great relief to them to finally know and understand why learning has been so difficult. It will also be helpful to friends and family members to understand the cause of these behaviors. Counseling can help both the individual and family members learn effective strategies and communication tools to overcome these challenges and become more successful in their relationships and future goals.

Commencement

Testing Accommodations for Therapists

Learning Disabilities/ADHD Not Just a Problem of Academics

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